Another night NOT drinking

So he strode out of the pub, his wits in hand. Looking up and down the street he decided to glide north. He knew no one in that direction; his house wasn't in that direction, hell, even his car was the other way. But, he needed to walk, and walk he did.

It's cold. There's a snow flurry happening that wasn't mentioned during the news... go figure. It was *think time*. A time to just empty his head of the shineola that had gathered there.

Bartenders must make the BEST non-drinkers. All night long they stand there and watch people drink and make an ass out of themselves. They must learn SOMETHING.

You should get college credit for sitting at a bar all night. You learn so much about life and the ways of man by watching others make mistakes all night...

Potato skins are NOT cuisine. They are what normally goes in the garbage. (but, strangely tasty, though!!! )

"House Wine" is the equivalent of "sloppy seconds". Friends don't let friends drink "House Wine".

A Pub Crawl should be considered visiting the 4 natural wonders of the world. After 4, everyplace you go is "the greatest place on earth!"

Weathermen should be given a lethal injection of Windex when their prognostications don't come to pass. Up to 3 inches of snow tonight, my azz.

Hershey's Chocolate Kisses should be their own food group.

I just came up with the worst chauvinistic joke... that I won't even share it with the world at large. Suffice to say that... no, nevermind.

Is it really too much to ask to have someone to kiss happy New Year to?
Yeah, I figured as much.

So, he doubled back to his car. Corruptively sober. Slides in behind the wheel of his invisible sedan and pulls out into traffic. As snowflakes start to fall...

"Dammit!!" He yells in disgust. "Alright Joe, you can go." He says undoing the ropes and duct tape.